Thursday, August 12, 2010

Sing Over Me

I know I said I wouldn't talk about my spinal tap, but this is my blog, and I reserve the right to change my mind. Plus, I am a woman, and I reserve the right to change my mind. I'm not actually going to talk about the spinal tap itself, but the incredibly shocking spinal headache that followed. The picture above does not begin to depict the pain of such a headache. I had it for 6 days. The good news was that it went away if I was completely horizontal! I learned to do some amazing tricks flat on my back. By the end of the week, I could juggle plates, balance my two-year-old on the end of a broomstick with my left foot and keep a shiny ball suspended in mid-air by spraying water out of my mouth. All at the same time! You should have come over. I wasn't charging a dime.

Really, that time on my back was hard, but good in the sense that it was more time with the Lord and the Word. Good thinking time. Easter Sunday morning dawned bright and beautiful, and although I was disappointed not to be in church with my family, I was thankful in a new way for what Jesus had done for me so long ago. So, I had Easter in my heart, laying there on my bed. And I sang out just as loudly as I could all the Easter songs I could think of. Little did I know that He would be singing back to me in a special way a few days later.

Tuesday I went back to the hospital for a procedure to try to alleviate the headache. I was sure that by Wednesday I would fine. I convinced Bob to go ahead and take his business trip to Kansas City and felt confident I would be able to handle the kids on my own. That afternoon, a nurse from the neurology office called and told me I needed to come back for another MRI, this time of my thoracic spine. Here is how I felt about that:

picture by Kyle Flood from Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

But I did not cry. I simply said, "Why?" She explained that if the doctor saw something on the other pictures, he may not have been able to see all of whatever it was and therefore would like to see more pictures.

When I hung up the phone, several things ran through my mind. Number 1: More lesions! There must be more than one lesion. Why else would he want more pictures?
 Number 2: So what? It's okay. If God can heal one lesion, He can heal a hundred. You are gonna be fine! Your confidence is in the Lord, remember?
Number 4: It's okay, honey. Remember how He helped you through the last one?
And lastly and very importantly,
 Number 5: Why are the kids putting leaves in the freezer?

By the time evening hit, my headache was almost as bad as it had been at the start. I was laying on the floor, with the kids playing around me, wondering how I was going to get them to bed. Fear and dread were bombarding me. For weeks now, I had been combating fearful, doubting thoughts with the Word of God, but this night I felt weak. This, I felt, was the lowest I had ever been since the whole thing began. This dread sitting on top of me was very heavy.

Then the phone rang. I didn't recognize the number and did not want to answer it in this condition, but I felt compelled. It was a friend of mine just calling to check on me. I can't remember now what I said. I know I was struggling to get any words out at all. And then I started to cry. The cry. The deep wail that cannot be stopped once it starts.

My friend just happened to be five minutes away, so she came right over. If you are worried about my kids right now, the Lord was watching over them, too. They patted me and then very calmly went upstairs to get themselves ready for bed and help the two-year-old with his pajamas and brushing teeth.

by Beyond Silence
When my friend came in, she knew what to do. She got down on the floor with me, stroked my head and prayed. And prayed some more. And then she started to sing. She was singing over me words from the Lord. Words to bring healing, to dispel fear and dread. I slowly became quiet, the heaviness gone, and with it, the headache. She then tucked my kids into bed, tucked me into bed, and talked to me while I got sleepy.

I am so thankful that God uses people to touch other people. He meets our needs in so many different ways. "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17). Yes, He quieted my sobs that night with His love, and He sang over me through my friend. "You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance" (Psalm 32:7). Yes, He protected me that night. He surrounded me with songs that delivered me from my enemy. Thank you, Lord Jesus, and thank you, good friend for letting Him use you!

To be continued... 


  1. You reminded me of something that happened when my daughter was about 2 years old. I was sicker than I'd ever been and was home alone with her. I remember putting up the gates and popping a movie in the VCR (okay it was a while ago!). The last thing I remember was lying down on the couch. When I woke up, she had covered me with 5 or 6 of her baby blankets. The movie (a couple of hours long)was over and she was sitting quietly in front of the t.v. watching whatever was on. I remember thinking earlier in the day that I was so sick and thought I was so alone with no one to watch my girl. But I WASN'T alone...not only did HE take care of her...he used her to take care of me. What an awesome God we serve!

  2. This is a beautiful post. I love it.

    And also, number 5 is hilarious.

  3. when you were crying here i was crying with you...i cant wait to read more..

  4. say, that kind of looks like sophie pitching a fit.

  5. Ohhhh, I had one of those spinal headaches after the birth of my twins. NOTHING would make it go away but no one suspected it from the pregnancy spinal. I even had my wisdom teeth out. FINALLY, went in for some thing where they did something agian in my spine and it eleviated it.

    Enjoyed reading yours!

  6. smiles. what a cool friend...i am sorry you are going through that but what a testament to love she was in praying and singing over you...hope that you are feeling better...

  7. Hey Rachelle! I came to meet YOU now and am going to read more of your story. I hope all of this is ended now...and I can tell you are HILARIOUS...I can totally see how you and Jen are great friends!!:}:}:}

  8. @Abby /Aww...thanks, Abby! Yes, when Jen and I are together, we usually pee our pants from all the laughing. I'm hoping you will be close enough to hang out with her often! I have a feeling you both would bless each other greatly over there!

  9. I had Easter in my heart, laying there on my bed.

    i love your heart, the easter that is there, the God that is rising from you.


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