Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Face in the Mirror

Would you like to know what this picture has to do with my story? Nothing. I just think it's funny. My kid really really likes watermelon, and he wants some more. Right now. Or he's gonna eat your head. His mouth is about big enough.

Okay, back to my story.

My heart felt full and happy and peaceful after my "surgery" with God. As much as I wanted to have my vision back and to be rid of all the other symptoms, I now wanted more than anything else to have an undivided heart for the Lord. I longed with every fiber in me to fully trust and believe Him. 

That evening as I read my Bible, I was struck by another verse. It struck me because it had the word "confidence" in it. If you have been reading my posts, hopefully you remember my Hebrews verse about not throwing away our confidence. Now, 1John 5:14 says: "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him."

I love a good mathematical equation--almost as much as potatoes! According to this verse,
 asking in God's will+knowing He hears us=confidence in approaching God
 and consequently,
 confidence in approaching God=knowing we have what we asked Him for  
and now we can put the reds together:
asking in God's will+knowing He hears us=knowing we have what we asked for

I felt excited about this verse. Yes, I had read it many times before, but I wanted to take action this night. So, I made a short list of things I wanted to approach God about. I made sure the things on my list were according to His will. I did not ask for straight hair or a gymnast's body or a stack of beautiful fabric for my sewing closet. I can't find God's will about those things in the Bible. But the things on my list, like an undivided heart and a healed body--those things I can find in His Word. I very simply took these things and said, "Okay, God, I know it is your will for me to have these things, so I'm asking in confidence, and now I believe that according to Your Word, I have them." Amen. The end. That's it. And don't let anybody try to tell me I don't! 

The next morning at church, my pastor preached a sermon that made me feel like I was the only person there. It was for me. It was mine, all mine. I don't normally shout out during the sermon, but I really felt perhaps I'd better put duct tape on my mouth lest the joy in me come exploding out and make me do things that might embarrass my husband. In reality, I did let out a very small "woo!" at the end, but it was lame in comparison to how I felt.

Uhh...speaking of lame, the sermon was from John chapter 5 about the man who was lame for 38 years. Jesus told this man to pick up his mat and walk, and he did! This man was later confronted by the Jews who told him it was unlawful for him to be carrying around his mat on the Sabbath. They asked him who it was that told him to pick up his mat and walk. Instead of rejoicing at this great miracle, they focused on this petty matter of him breaking the Sabbath. Well, our pastor told us that when Jesus sets us free from something, there will be those who criticize and try to squash our joy. Satan will try to put us right back into the chains that Jesus just set us free from. But when this happens--when in essence you are asked, "Who told you to pick up your mat and walk?", you can say, "Jesus! Jesus did! I'm under His authority now, and He is stronger." 

At the end, my pastor looked right out at us(me) and said something quite similar to this: "If you are bound by the enemy in any way, whether in your physical body or otherwise, I say to you, pick up your mat and walk! Be free! Walk in your freedom!" And though I only said "woo!" with my mouth, my heart said, "Okay, okay! That's mine, I'll take it!" And you know what? I didn't take a nap that day. I had been napping every day for weeks due to fatigue. But that Sunday, I had energy! If energy was ice cream, then I had an extra-large bowl of it with joy squeezed out all over the top like so much hot fudge.

And guess what else? The next day just happened to be my appointment for the third MRI and diagnosis day with my neurologist. But I did not even care. I felt he could say anything he wanted to me and it would not steal my joy. When I stumbled into the bathroom early Monday morning, I glanced in the mirror out of habit and gasped at what I saw. It was my face--not two, but one, and both eyes looking back at me!

 My heart racing, I looked around at the room. There were still two of everything, but I realized that at very close range, I could focus on one image! I ran back into the bedroom, picked up my Bible, and read a Psalm out loud with both my eyes! What a moment! What a thrill! I knew without a doubt that I was on my way to full recovery.

To be continued...


  1. okay, so don't you already have a gymnasts body and a stack of beautiful fabric in your sewing closet?...C'mon, I saw it.

  2. Buffalo Billy, don't you realize that collecting fabric is kind of like shoes? There's always something cuter out there! And no, after watching Sara in her gymnastics class, I faced the fact that I do not have a gymnast's body.

  3. whoop whoop! she said while raising the roof with the palms of her hands.

  4. Okay, my brain is really weird. When I was reading this and you were talking about the sermon and then you said "speaking of lame", my brain started jumping ahead and I thought you were going to say something about the sermon being lame NOT being ABOUT a lame person. Which didn't make sense because you were talking about the sermon making you want to say woo. Then I start thinking "OK where are you going with this story Rachelle?" Then of course I kept reading a got everything straightened out. Whew!!


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