Tuesday, August 10, 2010


Hi! It's me. Before I dive into the next part of my story, I just wanted to tell you that sometimes when I read to my kids I pretend I'm British. They just roll their eyes and tell me to cut it out. Also, I wrote a poem for you:
Roses are red
I don't have a dog
My toenails are pink
Thanks for reading this blog.
In addition to this lovely poem, I want you to know that if you are reading this, I have been praying for you. I am not writing this story just for kicks. I want people to know how good God is. So many of us walk around thinking He is angry or demanding or just indifferent, but that isn't so. I want you to know He is good. I pray you do.

The Wednesday night after I had been anointed with oil, My mom took me to the ER. My husband Bob was unavoidably out of town and my symptoms were worsening. I had already had an MRI of my brain and plenty of blood work done, but no answers so far. At the ER, I had a CT scan and more blood work and was told that I most likely had diabetes. This only added to my confusion. I had no symptoms of diabetes at all. It didn't add up. But it had to be ruled out before we moved on to other things like brain tumor or multiple sclerosis.

Back at home that night, I was alone and confused and wishing I could know what was wrong with me. As I lay in my bed I remembered my vow not to throw away my confidence in the Lord. I felt better knowing that He knew exactly what was wrong with me, even if I didn't. And yet, as I drifted off to sleep, I was thinking, "If I only had a name for this..."


I had a dream that night that I was being grabbed by my back so that I flopped down like a rag doll. The thing holding me was evil and swirling me around and around. I wanted it to stop, so I tried to talk. I knew I wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come. Finally I managed to yell, "I trust in God alone!", and everything stopped.


I then found myself looking up at a word. The word was big, and I was small. I didn't recognize the word or know how to pronounce it, but I knew it was important. I spent the rest of the dream telling myself to remember the word. I spelled it out over and over. (The pronunciation is sen-AK-e-rib, by the way.)

When I woke up, the first thing I did was look it up in the dictionary. My heart was pounding as I flipped the pages, longing to understand my dream. The word was not in my dictionary. Deflated, I let out the breath I had been holding. I figured I had wanted a name for this sickness so badly, my sub-conscious had invented one. But I couldn't let it go. I sat down at the computer and googled it. And there it was! It popped up with a Bible reference in 2 Kings. When I saw that this was a real word and it was in the Bible, I couldn't hold back the tears. Even though I still did not know what the word meant, getting such a specific message from God made me feel so loved. It touched me in a way I cannot describe, and He knew that it would. That's why He did it.

Remember how I was wanting a name? Well, Sennacherib is not just a word, it is a name! He was one of the kings of Assyria. 
The whole story can be found in 2 Kings 18 and 19 or 2 Chronicles 32 or Isaiah 36 and 37. In summary, Hezekiah was a king of Judah over God's people. Sennacherib was the king of Assyria that came and threatened Hezekiah and his people. Hezekiah's response was to remain confident in the Lord and not to fear this threat. Remember my verse about not throwing away my confidence? Here is a quote from Sennacherib to Hezekiah that gave me chills: "On what are you basing this confidence of yours? You say you have strategy and military strength-but you speak only empty words. On whom are you depending that you rebel against me?"

Sennacherib did all he could to shake Hezekiah's faith and get God's people to doubt and surrender to him. He reminded them of his track record: Assyria had defeated every nation they challenged. He reminded God's people that the gods of those nations had not saved them, so what made them think that the Lord would deliver them from His hand?

Hezekiah took this matter to the Lord. He asked Him to see Sennacherib, to hear his threats and to deliver them. Well, God had some pretty harsh things to say about Sennacherib, ending with the promise that He would put His hook in Sennacherib's nose and His bit in his mouth and make him go back the way he came. And to Hezekiah, He said that He would defend the city of Jerusalem and save it. And He did. That night an angel of the Lord killed 185,000 men in the Assyrian army and Sennacherib went back home with his tail between his legs.

Now, isn't this just like God? I wanted a name, specifically the name of my medical condition. But He likes to look beyond the physical realm and get to the heart of a matter. There is always a spiritual side to what we see in the physical.  Whether we realize it or not, there are battles going on in the spirit realm between angels and demons. I was reminded once again through reading these passages to keep my confidence in God! Even though I still did not know what was wrong with me, I knew that more than a physical illness, this was a spiritual attack. But He was on my side! He was defending me!

I know this is getting long, but hang with me one more minute. Check out this verse in Hebrews 10:23. "Let us hold fast our profession of faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)" What is my profession of faith? "I believe God! I receive His son, Jesus and all he accomplished for me on the cross." Okay, now why do I need to hold fast to that? We wouldn't be told to hold fast to something unless it was trying to be snatched away from us, right? Our enemy is real and he tries to steal our confidence in the Lord. But let's not let him! Let's hang on! With God defending us, we are on the winning side.

More to come!


  1. Rachelle, I just read all of your blogs in a row....wow! Every memory we have had together during my stay with your family is flooding back and tears are gathering in my eyes! Thank you for reminding me that our confidence needs to be in the LORD despite anything physical. Nathan & I are praying!!!!

  2. R - I love that top picture of you. You are cute. The squeezing kind. The cherry on the top kind. The bowl you over with an adorable smile kind. The twirl around in a skirt kind. The apron-wearing, hand me a muffin kind. The "can we be sisters forever?" kind.

  3. Two poems for you (both from the same man, and both seeming today to have been written just for you long ago).

    One of my all time favorites:

    She walks in beauty like the night...

    She walks in beauty, like the night
    Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
    And all that's best of dark and bright
    Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
    Thus mellow'd to that tender light
    Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

    One shade the more, one ray the less,
    Had half impair'd the nameless grace
    Which waves in every raven tress,
    Or softly lightens o'er her face;
    Where thoughts serenely sweet express
    How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

    And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
    So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
    The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
    But tell of days in goodness spent,
    A mind at peace with all below,
    A heart whose love is innocent!


    The Destruction of Sennacherib

    The Assyrian came down like the wolf on the fold,
    And his cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold;
    And the sheen of their spears was like stars on the sea,
    When the blue wave rolls nightly on deep Galilee.

    Like the leaves of the forest when Summer is green,
    That host with their banners at sunset were seen:
    Like the leaves of the forest when Autumn hath blown,
    That host on the morrow lay withered and strown.

    For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,
    And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed;
    And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,
    And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!

    And there lay the steed with his nostril all wide,
    But through it there rolled not the breath of his pride;
    And the foam of his gasping lay white on the turf,
    And cold as the spray of the rock-beating surf.

    And there lay the rider distorted and pale,
    With the dew on his brow, and the rust on his mail:
    And the tents were all silent, the banners alone,
    The lances unlifted, the trumpet unblown.

    And the widows of Ashur are loud in their wail,
    And the idols are broke in the temple of Baal;
    And the might of the Gentile, unsmote by the sword,
    Hath melted like snow in the glance of the Lord!

    ~ M

  4. Yeah, I know you don't have raven tresses, but the brow soft, and eloquent, the smiles that win, the tints that glow - they have always been your beauty - not the mascara.


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