Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Disappointment With Life, part one: Divorce

I'd like to begin a new series today. And now I am laughing, because I am talking like a pastor or a writer, when really, I am just me. Just a girl with a story to tell. It's just a story about God and how He changed me.

He is the healer of so much more than what ails us physically. He can and does heal our minds, our emotions, our relationships, and all else that could be considered sick or broken. He majors in restoration. I surely do love that about Him.

I would love to share with you how He healed me and is healing me in these other ways, non-physical. I know I am only one small person with one little voice, but I would like to do my part to inject hope and encouragement into a world full of hurt and pain. For, you see, what God has done for me, He will do for you. I am not His favorite. He doesn't play that way. Thanks to Jesus, His followers are all on equal footing as joint-heirs with Him. We are all God's beloved children. 

To tell you how He healed me, I must first give you a little background information so you can understand what He healed me of. I'm pretty sure this will take more than one post, so I won't get to the healing part today. Bear with me. I don't want to dwell on the negative things for any purpose other than to give you something to relate to. I know that the things I've been through are common to so many of you reading this.

So, let's get started.
I think anyone who has been living on this earth for any length of time has become acquainted with disappointment. We have dreams. We plan. We have ideas of what life should be like. And then, disaster strikes. Someone breaks a promise. You get hurt or become sick. You lose your job or your house or your spouse or your child or your sanity. You are threatened, bullied, or abused. You don't dream anymore. You just survive. 

For me, life was pretty easy as a child. I was fairly well protected from disappointment. The hardest thing that happened was when I was in high school. My dad needed a kidney transplant, but he got one, so that story had a good ending. Other than that, my biggest challenge was changing into my gym clothes at school without anyone seeing me.

I was unfamiliar with true heart-break until I was 26 years old. I was a married woman, no children yet, but happily making my house and life the way I thought they should be.  
I will never forget that dreadful day I received word that my parents were splitting up. This was such a foreign concept to me, I literally did not know what to do with myself. I somehow found my way to the closet, closed the door, and started screaming.

Growing up, my parents had always promised us kids that they would never get divorced. Their marriage was our stability! I counted on it always being there--the same steady rock of security. My parents' divorce shattered all that was good and familiar to me. I felt I did not know anything anymore. I did not know how to be a daughter to two separate people or how to be a wife that could promise that this wouldn't happen to her own marriage. This ruined everything for our family. Holidays and celebrations could never be the same. And when I started having children, I grieved all over again the loss of two grandparents who would not be together for my kids. 

Divorce is such a common, everyday word. So many people have experienced it. "My parents are divorced." "I'm going through a divorce." "This is my second marriage." We hear these words all the time. It is so common that I believe many forget what a tragedy it really is. If you have ever been through the divorce of your parents or siblings or your own, or are going through it now, please know this: you do not go un-noticed simply because this is an epidemic. God sees you and cares about your pain. I understand now that behind that often used word, "divorce", is a world of hurt and personal struggle. The frequency of its occurrence doesn't make it any less heart-breaking for the people going through it. If this is you, my heart goes out to you now, and I pray the Lord will comfort you. I just wanted you to know that.

Okay, that's as much as I want to tell today. This is all headed somewhere. It just might take awhile.

Love you.



  1. I understand your pain and problems. My parents divorced after 30 years of marriage. I, too, was already married and had my own children. One of the hardest times was on Easter Sunday when each parent came to visit us and bringing their new "significant other". That was extremely hard. They both went on to marry the new person, and we moved on. There is much more to this story that I won't go into. My dad has passed away, but my mom and stepdad still live in this area.

  2. Love you too. And I loved the pictures they made me feel good and warm inside.

  3. I should stipulate that I meant the first 2 pictures.


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